The Big Snooze

Traffic chaos! Treacherous Conditions! Met Office warnings! School Closures! Salt Shortages!  Before you fall asleep, begin a bout of self-harming or finally purchase that 8 feet of rope, here is a warm welcome to the absurdity and hyperbole which descends on us when the Great British Winter begins. No it’s not Daniella Westbrook blowing her nose or Keith Richards’s old coke dealer dropping it from the sky due to lack of sales, its bloody snow. Each year the country that has contributed more than most to the modern world becomes its laughing stock with its inability to comprehend that when it’s a bit fucking nippy outside, snow and ice may follow.
  
Despite the furore over the last few days regarding the Wikileaks affair, the media has displayed their annual field day with the country’s recent ‘cold snap’. While I acknowledge the media’s responsibility to report the problems that snow can bring and the reliance that much of the public has on them for such reports; it curls my toes (more than the cold) the way it is reported. Television reporting many years ago consisted of a muffled voice, a picture of a telephone and a dot on a map to explain where the particular reporter was. Now we are faced with on location reporting for everything. With bad weather; this takes on new levels of simplicity. The way they describe the problems that the snow is causing is like this weather is a new experience in this country. 'Be careful whilst driving’; ‘allow extra journey time’; ‘only make journeys if absolutely necessary’; are the obvious kind of drivel spouted from the reporters self-important little mouths. They may as well have used a crayon and coloured paper to explain what colour snow is.

I sometimes wonder what journeys the media expect us to undertake in such bad weather. In January during the last cold spell, the BBC website posted a page with an easy guide of how to be safe in the snow whilst driving and what ‘essential’ items must be taken. This snow survival kit consisted of a mobile phone; de-icer; a scraper; and some warm clothes. Pretty standard so far, however it also included a shovel and a sleeping bag, presumably for a person who got so sick of the focus on the bad weather and that impending tedious news story waiting for them when they got home that they decided to bury themselves in the snow in their sleeping bag so they die with some relative comfort.

For reporters now, on location reporting consists of asking the general public questions or for their opinion on a particular matter. This bout of laziness may attempt to connect the news to the viewers at home, but it just comes across as a time filling exercise whilst Huw Edwards goes for a bathroom break or Kay Burley rises up from hell. The increase in the bad weather gives the opportunity for us Brits to do what we love above all things, a right fucking moan. And the media networks are all too happy to show it. “Why’s my steps outside my house not gritted?”; ‘Why’s my bus late?’ ‘Why didn’t the trains prepare for the snow?’, ‘Why’s McDonalds closed this morning?’ Because of the increased media coverage about the slightly exciting change in the weather from the usual overcast days we’re used to; the problem heightens and people perceptions of what should happen when a nation experiencing inclement weather becomes blurred.

We seem to be unwilling to accept that when the nation is covered and ice and snow, things probably won’t go on as normal. We all leave the house at the usual time and moan when we are late to work; we all moan when the train is late or doesn’t even show; or we all moan when the school is closed and you have to stay off work. Yes we may be sometimes under prepared when it comes to a bit of snow and ice, but the media often accentuates the problem by spreading the issue all over every news bulletin and giving it terrible titles like ‘the Great British Freeze’. The general public then feel it necessary to make dull conversation about it to any poor bastard who has to listen. Take this quote from a weather blog from a leading national daily newspaper: -

“It's snowing here in Switzerland. 

Contrary to perceptions in the rest of the world, things are not running like clockwork. Geneva Airport has been closed since yesterday evening and looks set to remain closed for some time yet. Buses stopped running in Geneva. Trains are delayed or cancelled. Schools are closed. Roads are icy and the authorities are struggling to keep them clear.

The difference is that certain elements of the media do not howl in glee ('cos ain't it a good story that sells papers) about how inefficient the Government/local authorities/etc. are.

So whilst we may feel like the butt of the world’s jokes when it comes to dealing with a bit of snow; it’s not always the case. We should take it on the chin instead of keeping our bloody chins wagging on about it. I’m sure many of us would love an extra few days off round this time of year anyway (fingers crossed for more snow tonight!). I just wish more of us and the media outlets would have the opinion of our Swiss neighbours and just get on with your day the best you can.

"It's been snowing heavily, what do you expect?”