East Where?

About six months ago, the world was treated to a simple and short but effective video guide to 'hipster' culture. It became a youtube sensation (it even did rounds in my bleedin' office) and formed many people's perceptions of what it took to be entailed in the East London Hackney/Dalston scene which was overloaded with young gentleman and ladies with vintage threads; cool or media/promotional/god knows employment; and very suspect grooming. It was obvious that 'Being A Dickheads Cool' was a harmless parody and is now in today's 20 tweet a minutes internet fucking whatever, old news. 



I don't live in East London, don't know really any self defined 'hipsters' but I've experienced enough knobheads in my time and scenes/fads (in and out of this part of the world) to know that behind all the parodies, parties and pills it's clear one factor pisses all over whatever creative aspect this scene/area has to offer; serious fucking dollar.

Take Blaise Belville. Only last month he was named as one of Daily Mail's top 50 powerful posh people under 30. The list was a who's who of the trust fund bellend league with their money and parent's power stretching over politics, fashion, stage, films and where young Blaise fits in, young entrepreneurs. 'Blaise Belville', his name sounds like a fictional posh wanker out of Alan Bennett play. Public school accents are back apparently, under Labour they were the 'endangered species', at the mercy of the working class hero. We under-estimated the staying the power of the young and privileged elite. Spare me.

He first came to prominence a couple of years back in a cringe-worthy Times article where we were told to watch out for him as the poster boy of a entrepenurial generation. Here we learnt 'that you were 'not worthy' if you don't have a main job and sideline in the form of a DJ gig or a fashion label, a popular blog or all three'. Oh we've never had it so good. The article was highlighting his success in launching his own pop-culture website (readplatform.com) and his turn as a DJ and promotor in 'trendy' East London. If I lived in real East London; you know where you'd get your head kicked in if you attempted to wear a Duran Duran tee shirt with rolled up sleeves, glasses the size of your face and had one of those non-descript 'where the fuck are they from' sort of accents (probably the home counties); I'd be seriously fucked off by the blatant misrepresentation of the area. I'm a northerner and even I know Dalston aint that far fucking east.

It doesn't bother me that Belville is successful, has had his arse licked by national newspapers and has a shedload of cash. What bothers me is what I regard as the blatant insincerity of it all. Take readplatform.com for example. Belville has done well in establishing the website and on the back of it spinoffs including the Boiler Room night. A couple of months back the website launched a competition where entrants had to prepare a DJ mix showcasing their mixing skills (or computer skills-you decide) and musical taste. The prize was a top of the range Blackberry, some tee shirts together with an exclusive opportunity to open at the Boiler Room who has had acts such as James Blake, Theo Parrish and Mount Kimbie DJ. It turns out it was a load of bollocks. No Blackberry, just an age-old media style swindle to promote a night, website etc and prove the promotor has the balls to hand out a product he could probably buy with his loose change. The excuse that has been given to why the Blackberry wasn't available to be sent to the eventual winner was that of an office error. Bollocks. More trendy hipster tees? No thanks. A picture paints a thousand words.